018. Tears beget tears


“Tears beget tears,” my grandmother would scold us, whenever one of us felt our throats tighten and our eyes tingle. My little sister Lilly, who was only four years old, hadn’t caught the disease yet, and we were all urged not to cry in front of her – a rule I broke on her sixth birthday.



My grandmother said she’d caught the curse from an old gypsy woman on the edge of the forest near her house. She’d peeked through the fence and seen a lip oozing blood and eyes oozing salt water. When the woman noticed her staring, she wiped her cheeks and turned away.

“You don’t want to see this, child,” she hissed. “You’ll catch –“

But it was too late. My grandmother’s eyes were already welling.

My mother didn’t catch it until she was eight – my grandmother cut her finger in the kitchen, and let down her guard. My mother passed it on to me when I was seven. Despite her best efforts, she was undone by a phone call late one evening. A sombre voice on the other end delivered bad news and before my mother had time to turn away, I’d seen the streams making their way down her cheeks.

When my grandmonther died, there was no point in hiding the tears. We’d all caught the curse years ago. We stood by her grave together, weeping. Tears ran down my sister’s face, onto her belly – where her unborn daughter rested. We would try to protect her, of course, but we all knew it was only a matter of time.

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