017. Travelling eyes

Joe had travelling eyes. It pissed off his girlfriend and annoyed his friends. Was he staring at some other girl?

He wasn't, he assured her.

Was he ever paying attention?

Sure. Joe paid attention plenty. He could hold two things in his mind while searching for a third to occupy his eyes. Even at night, in the hazy shadows of their bedroom, when he talked Sophie to sleep he was looking for something else. With his eyelids closed he was still looking. It wasn't something he could find in that room. Most of the time the things Joe looked for was nowhere to be seen.

He tried to explain it to his friends. Even after he'd promised himself to stop trying. After a couple of beers he'd slip into it but he always stumbled. In his head it seemed so rational.

“I'm looking because I haven't found it yet”.

But when he said it out loud it sounded so trite and dull. A two-dimensional cut-out of a real dream. A mirage, blurred at the edges and shapeless.

“We're all looking for it, Joe”, his friends told him, “but we know when to give it a rest”.

“I'm looking too”, said Sophie, “I'm looking for you, Joe”.

Joe tapped away at his terminal in his cubicle at work and his eyes scanned the code. At lunch he pretended to listen to his co-workers yap on about their days. In reality he studied the fabric of their clothes, the sky outside the cafeteria windows and the bubbles in his coffee. On the weekends he took extra care to look at Sophie when she talked. He looked at her eyes and at her mouth and he smiled when she smiled and nodded with interest. Behind his eyes his mind travelled.

Joe had a travelling mind.