049. The One-Uppers

Zoe put the car in neutral and checked the map Pete had left her on the kitchen table. Yup, this was the place. It wasn't the strangest place Pete had brought her to. An abandoned warehouse ten miles out from the city was a far cry from the malaria-infested jungles of Peru where Pete had paid an Inca tribe to resurrect Zoe's grandmother for their four-year anniversary. 

Zoe and Pete were competitive by nature. It formed the basis of their relationship. They were constantly trying to one-up one another and win the title of The Best Partner. Neither wanted to suffer the shame of an inferior Valentine's gift for a full year and be The Worse Partner. 

Zoe entered the warehouse and followed the trail of rose petals to an industrial elevator. On the elevator floor she found a heart shaped box of chocolates. Pinned to the box was a note that read:

"Push down"

And below in smaller letters:

(no acid in the sweets, promise) -P"

Zoe took a chocolate from the box and bit into it, relieved that Pete's gift was on a sober person's level of consciousness. She pushed the arrow pointing down and the elevator shook into life. It seemed to go on forever. The air turned cold and the dark walls visible outside the elevators metallic bars went from concrete, to mud, to wet stone. Zoe got through almost half of the chocolates in a leasury pace before the elevator slowed to a halt. She pushed the bars aside and stepped off into a darkness barely penetrated by a few candles lined up on the ground. She followed the path of the candles. Her boots clattered against a metal floor and the echoes wove into each other as they bounced against walls that sounded miles apart. The room must be huge, thought Zoe, and wondered if Pete had built her another Iron Giant. She dismissed the thought. The old giant had left for his home planet long ago and even though she wouldn't mind another iron friend Pete had too much pride for repetition.

She turned a corner and found that the lights had led her to a room with a single spotlight illuminating a big, red button. Somewhat superfluous the button was imprinted with the letters "PUSH ME" and Zoe wasted little time.
Lights flooded the room and Zoe realized she was standing on an elevated platform several thousand feet above ground. Facing her was a giant, metallic orb bigger than any structure she'd seen before. On another platform, a few hundred meters down she saw a little spot of dark blue polyester. Pete. An intercom system buzzed into life on a railing next to her and Pete's voice came on it.

"Happy Valentine's Day, baby!"

Dwarfing Pete was The Death Star. He knew she'd wanted an intergalactic weapon of mass destruction ever since that horrible vacation on Mars last easter. "Damn", Zoe muttered. Pete had bested her again. It was going to be a long year.