“I'm sorry”, said the alarm clock, “You do not have enough credits to snooze”.
“Buy more credits!”, screamed Grey from under the cover.
“Your purchase has been denied”. The alarm clock spoke with a pleasant female voice, perfectly audible over the cheesy backtracks, “Please contact your bank for further details.” It resumed its tone deaf singing, this time with improvised wailing. Grey moaned into his pillow. He made an effort to sit up and immediately regretted it. His brain did a little jig behind his eyes. The alarm clock kept singing. It didn't even knew the lyrics.
A MAN WALKS DOWN THE STREET MAYBE IT'S A COLD STREET IT MIGHT THE FIRST STREET, MAYBE IT'S THE THIRD STREET AROUND
“I'm up, I'm up!”, Grey yelled at the little plastic box.
“My sensors indicate that you are still in your bed”, said the alarm clock.
Grey stumbled out of bed and dragged his pillow and his cover with him. He lay down on the floor. “You're still attempting to sleep”, said the clock, “I can see you.” Grey stared at it. The glowing digital numbers that indicated the horribly early hour disappeared and then quickly came back again. It had attempted to wink at him. Flustered, Grey crawled on his hands and knees to his drawers and started to look for something heavy. The alarm clock mumbled its way through another verse before murdering the chorus with the vigor of an English football hooligan.
IF YOU'LL BE MY BODYGUARD I CAN BE YOUR LONG LOST PAAAL
“That'll do”, mumbled Grey and grabbed a biography of Mao Tse Tung he'd hid in his t-shirt drawer for some escaping reason. It was a brick of a book. Thick and heavy.
YOU CAN CALL ME EDDY AND EDDY WHEN YOU CALL ME YOU CAN CAALL MEE AAL
Grey walked over to the alarm clock and raised Mao over his head. The alarm clock stopped singing.
“I'll sue you.”, it said.
“Fine”, said Grey and brought the book down hard. He'd never been sued by an alarm clock before. He felt it was probably something he could live with.
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